Do you only have one child?

The question sounds like a sad one. The inclusion of the word 'only' makes it sound as if my child is an unfortunate. Excluding the only would make it sound nicer, but most people wouldn't understand the distinction. Or maybe I'm just being over-sensitive.

I get particularly sensitive about this when people ask this question in front of my daughter, who is at an age now where most of her friends do have siblings. Being an only child does make her feel different, but this question magnifies the difference. It sounds as if people feel sorry for her, and makes her think she should feel sorry for herself. When her life is actually quite good!

So I struggle with the best way to answer this question. I don't like to be rude, especially when it wasn't the intention of the person who asked it to offend us.

Whether it's by choice or by circumstance that you are a one-child family, it's wrong when people make you feel that you (and especially your child) have a lower quality of life because of it. Parents worry enough as it is, and give themselves a hard enough time about whether or not they're good parents, without other people's judgements.

I have spent a lot of time recently thinking about this subject. Here are some hubs based on my research and my thoughts.

• Am I evil if I don't have a second child?
• Are second babies cost-free?

And here is the blog article from Nataly on workitmom.com that inspired this post.

• Having only one child: why is it such a crime?

I'm grateful for this inspiration, as I haven't blogged here for a little while now. I needed a kick up the bum, and am glad to be back.